Mom:
When is the best age to enroll your child in preschool? It seems like more and more families are starting preschool as young as 2 years old. Are there disadvantages for my child if I wait until he is 3 or 3-1/2 years old to start preschool?
Unsure Mom
Dear Unsure:
What's important for now is that he's getting daily love, supervision and dialogue; that he has regular exposure to other children whether a sibling or neighborhood kids; and that he's doing some age-appropriate learning activities and not being parked in front of the TV all day or ignored.
If all that's happening and he seems happy and well-adjusted and you're in a position to stay home with him or have a good nanny, there's no compelling reason to push him into preschool before age 3 or even 4. Is he potty-trained? Once he is, that may serve as a natural transition to try preschool.
My 7-year-old started preschool at 3 months. Looking back on that now, it seems so early! But I had to get back to work and we weren't in a position to afford a full-time nanny. The upsides? Her body built immunities to lots of nasty preschool germs early on. She learned early to socialize and be independent. We didn't need to arrange as many playdates because she saw friends all day long. The downsides? She didn't get to spend enough time in her own home, her room, her space. She was probably a little more rambunctious as a result.
It wasn't until she started kindergarten in public school and we could put the money we were saving in daycare costs toward an au pair that she finally got to spend afternoons at home, playing with her own toys, reading her own books, exploring her own backyard.
Many parents on both sides of this debate feel strongly that their way is right and will show you the data they favor to argue their case. You need to do what feels right for your family. If you or your spouse is in a position to be home with your son, these are precious days that you won't get back and that will soon be gone, so you should enjoy the time together. You can teach him to read as well as a preschool teacher would. But if you've got a nanny who isn't doing much more than pushing him around in a stroller or plopping him in front of the TV, that's a different equation.
You can always take the middle ground, starting him in a co-op nursery school program for half-days or a couple of days a week to see how he adjusts.
I do think you'll want him in preschool at least a full year before kindergarten, just so he knows how to navigate the social intricacies of missing Mom and Dad and making friends and learning in a group setting before he starts "real" school, where most of the other kids already will have a head start.
Good luck!
Showing posts with label potty train. Show all posts
Showing posts with label potty train. Show all posts
Friday, April 8, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Pee-pee-pants baby? That's what they do
Dear Mom:
What is the best age to potty train a young child? I saw a report the other day that had moms trying to potty train their 6-month-olds!
A Dad
Dear Dad:
Geez, talk about pressuring kids to perform at an early age! I don't see much reason to try before 18 months or age 2, and they may well be 3 or older before it takes. Your kids will have friends who learn before they do, and friends who are still sleeping in overnight diapers at age 7. And friends who pee in their beds in college, especially when they've been drinking. Please, please resist the urge to feel competitive about this. This is something parents certainly should feel comfortable talking about with their family pediatrician, and when your kids are this little you'll have plenty of opportunities throughout the year.
There are so many approaches to potty training. I recommend buying a plastic potty at around 18 months and putting it next to the big potty in their bathroom or the bathroom closest to the kitchen and dining room. In the morning, before bed, or after meals, put 'em on the potty and let them sit for a few minutes and then let them get up and leave even if nothing happens. You can use the big potty yourself at the same time, so that they'll want to imitate you. You can check out library books, buy books, or make up stories about kids going potty to get them thinking about it.
On weekends, or if you're a stay-at-home parent any day will do, you can try taking off their diapers for a couple hours at a time. Keep the portable potty handy and when you start to see them squat or look as if they're going to pee or poop, grab the potty and stick em on it. Know that you will not always get there in time and that will result in icky cleanups.
Do not get anxious, worried or angry with them if they don't get it, don't want to get it or laugh when they miss the potty. You will be tempted to lose your patience once they start pre-school because some pre-school programs will only take kids who are potty trained. But even then, they know kids will have "accidents," and you'll prepare for that by bringing a couple of pairs of spare underpants and outfits to school for them to keep in their cubby. If they're older than 3 and showing no signs of using the potty, you should be talking with their doctor about this, not criticizing them. If they're younger than 18 months but showing their own initiative in wanting to use the potty, you could encourage an early start - but don't mistake their wanting to please you for them actually caring about toilet usage.
Otherwise, relax. They'll figure it out in their own time. We all did.
What is the best age to potty train a young child? I saw a report the other day that had moms trying to potty train their 6-month-olds!
A Dad
Dear Dad:
Geez, talk about pressuring kids to perform at an early age! I don't see much reason to try before 18 months or age 2, and they may well be 3 or older before it takes. Your kids will have friends who learn before they do, and friends who are still sleeping in overnight diapers at age 7. And friends who pee in their beds in college, especially when they've been drinking. Please, please resist the urge to feel competitive about this. This is something parents certainly should feel comfortable talking about with their family pediatrician, and when your kids are this little you'll have plenty of opportunities throughout the year.
There are so many approaches to potty training. I recommend buying a plastic potty at around 18 months and putting it next to the big potty in their bathroom or the bathroom closest to the kitchen and dining room. In the morning, before bed, or after meals, put 'em on the potty and let them sit for a few minutes and then let them get up and leave even if nothing happens. You can use the big potty yourself at the same time, so that they'll want to imitate you. You can check out library books, buy books, or make up stories about kids going potty to get them thinking about it.
On weekends, or if you're a stay-at-home parent any day will do, you can try taking off their diapers for a couple hours at a time. Keep the portable potty handy and when you start to see them squat or look as if they're going to pee or poop, grab the potty and stick em on it. Know that you will not always get there in time and that will result in icky cleanups.
Do not get anxious, worried or angry with them if they don't get it, don't want to get it or laugh when they miss the potty. You will be tempted to lose your patience once they start pre-school because some pre-school programs will only take kids who are potty trained. But even then, they know kids will have "accidents," and you'll prepare for that by bringing a couple of pairs of spare underpants and outfits to school for them to keep in their cubby. If they're older than 3 and showing no signs of using the potty, you should be talking with their doctor about this, not criticizing them. If they're younger than 18 months but showing their own initiative in wanting to use the potty, you could encourage an early start - but don't mistake their wanting to please you for them actually caring about toilet usage.
Otherwise, relax. They'll figure it out in their own time. We all did.
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