Tardy for preschool?

Mom:

When is the best age to enroll your child in preschool? It seems like more and more families are starting preschool as young as 2 years old. Are there disadvantages for my child if I wait until he is 3 or 3-1/2 years old to start preschool?

Unsure Mom

Dear Unsure:

What's important for now is that he's getting daily love, supervision and dialogue; that he has regular exposure to other children whether a sibling or neighborhood kids; and that he's doing some age-appropriate learning activities and not being parked in front of the TV all day or ignored.

If all that's happening and he seems happy and well-adjusted and you're in a position to stay home with him or have a good nanny, there's no compelling reason to push him into preschool before age 3 or even 4. Is he potty-trained? Once he is, that may serve as a natural transition to try preschool.

My 7-year-old started preschool at 3 months. Looking back on that now, it seems so early! But I had to get back to work and we weren't in a position to afford a full-time nanny. The upsides? Her body built immunities to lots of nasty preschool germs early on. She learned early to socialize and be independent. We didn't need to arrange as many playdates because she saw friends all day long. The downsides? She didn't get to spend enough time in her own home, her room, her space. She was probably a little more rambunctious as a result.

It wasn't until she started kindergarten in public school and we could put the money we were saving in daycare costs toward an au pair that she finally got to spend afternoons at home, playing with her own toys, reading her own books, exploring her own backyard.

Many parents on both sides of this debate feel strongly that their way is right and will show you the data they favor to argue their case. You need to do what feels right for your family. If you or your spouse is in a position to be home with your son, these are precious days that you won't get back and that will soon be gone, so you should enjoy the time together. You can teach him to read as well as a preschool teacher would. But if you've got a nanny who isn't doing much more than pushing him around in a stroller or plopping him in front of the TV, that's a different equation.

You can always take the middle ground, starting him in a co-op nursery school program for half-days or a couple of days a week to see how he adjusts.

I do think you'll want him in preschool at least a full year before kindergarten, just so he knows how to navigate the social intricacies of missing Mom and Dad and making friends and learning in a group setting before he starts "real" school, where most of the other kids already will have a head start.

Good luck!