The $64,000 (or hopefully more!) question

Mom:
My mom was a stay at home mom. My generation is different, and I always wanted to ask her what the best approach is for women to ask for more money in their jobs? It seems there are lots of successful young women, but that they lack the confidence their male colleagues have.
-Working in Washington

Dear Working:

Would it comfort you to know men go through this too? There are always examples of mediocre staff who somehow move up the food chain, hardworking people who get passed over and taken for granted, and charmed employees with a pedigree, swagger, great looks, a friend in management --- or perhaps just exceptional skill --- who pass everyone else by.

But even in places that consider themselves very forward thinking, there can be a latent sexism working against not just the younger women but all the women on staff. If this problem is too deeply woven into the culture of the company, you may do best to look for a job with another company. But first, let's walk through it.....

The main reason for a higher salary is more responsibility, so lay the groundwork to advance in terms of your job duties. Another reason is your profile/marketability. If someone else tries to hire you away or your bosses think someone might try, you have more leverage for a raise.

If you don't have one already, you should look for a mentor in your office or company. If there's a powerful woman at the company whom you admire, approach her in person or by email and tell her you are looking for a mentor and ask her if she would be willing to meet with you occasionally. Alternately, you can seek a male mentor in your office.

Also don't be shy about letting your supervisor know your short-term and long-term goals for advancement.

Finally, do your job well and keep learning new skills.

Without knowing your particulars, I can only guess at what's got you thinking about this. Do you work for a company where most of the managers and executives are men? Are men your age who do the same job better paid, or are the better-paid men older and more experienced (of course, salaries aren't supposed to be discussed in the workplace but this information or at least rumors of it sometimes has a way of getting out)?

Finally - there's no reason you shouldn't talk to your mom about this. She may have some useful perspective from her own experience working at home.