Pee-pee-pants baby? That's what they do

Dear Mom:

What is the best age to potty train a young child? I saw a report the other day that had moms trying to potty train their 6-month-olds!

A Dad

Dear Dad:

Geez, talk about pressuring kids to perform at an early age! I don't see much reason to try before 18 months or age 2, and they may well be 3 or older before it takes. Your kids will have friends who learn before they do, and friends who are still sleeping in overnight diapers at age 7. And friends who pee in their beds in college, especially when they've been drinking. Please, please resist the urge to feel competitive about this. This is something parents certainly should feel comfortable talking about with their family pediatrician, and when your kids are this little you'll have plenty of opportunities throughout the year.

There are so many approaches to potty training. I recommend buying a plastic potty at around 18 months and putting it next to the big potty in their bathroom or the bathroom closest to the kitchen and dining room. In the morning, before bed, or after meals, put 'em on the potty and let them sit for a few minutes and then let them get up and leave even if nothing happens. You can use the big potty yourself at the same time, so that they'll want to imitate you. You can check out library books, buy books, or make up stories about kids going potty to get them thinking about it.

On weekends, or if you're a stay-at-home parent any day will do, you can try taking off their diapers for a couple hours at a time. Keep the portable potty handy and when you start to see them squat or look as if they're going to pee or poop, grab the potty and stick em on it. Know that you will not always get there in time and that will result in icky cleanups.

Do not get anxious, worried or angry with them if they don't get it, don't want to get it or laugh when they miss the potty. You will be tempted to lose your patience once they start pre-school because some pre-school programs will only take kids who are potty trained. But even then, they know kids will have "accidents," and you'll prepare for that by bringing a couple of pairs of spare underpants and outfits to school for them to keep in their cubby. If they're older than 3 and showing no signs of using the potty, you should be talking with their doctor about this, not criticizing them. If they're younger than 18 months but showing their own initiative in wanting to use the potty, you could encourage an early start - but don't mistake their wanting to please you for them actually caring about toilet usage.

Otherwise, relax. They'll figure it out in their own time. We all did.